the last time i was in california i was with him. we flew into LAX, just like i did last night. we drove the same stretches of road.
just those facts were enough to have me crying in the shower this morning.** to wake me up with bad dreams of missing him, of wanting him back, last night.
when will it ever end, i ask.
**fuck it, i'll be honest. i'm crying right fucking now. i can't stop fucking crying.
someone is going to have to fucking pay me to trust a man again. it just ain't happenin' of its own accord.