unlikely suspects

i'm sifting through old files tonight, feeling a little crazed and a lot stressed, and i found this poem i wrote almost three years ago (!) about my boys. i think this file found me because it knew i needed some sustenance. i don't know if i'd write the same way today as i did back then in '05, but i believe in honoring the past so i'll share it with you (again, if you're an old-school reader from back in the lj days):

unlikely suspects

no one thought they would want to be cheerleaders.

they surprised us all

smiling their beautiful smiles,
backflipping as easy as they walk,
giggling as they are caught unawares actually enjoying themselves,
they treat the girls, their friends and sisters and cousins, with a respect that is catching:
they are my little and not-so-little gentlemen.

laughing and playing,
silly they are

at once like (in the comradery) and unlike (in the self-hatred) the
gun-toting
curse-throwing
hypnotiq-drinking
destroyers
that they will be
in so many a mind’s eye
sooner than i would like to think

simply,
happy.

little black boys see the world as their oyster.
they see the world as
jamaica
and the bronx
and DR,
as kingston and santo domingo,
as EBAFF and room 213.
as they grow, so will the world, and it will change them.
if only they knew to be careful
if only they knew to stay happy

i don’t ever want to forget you,
little black boys.

i don’t ever want to forget you,
just like this.