28 is hard

duro. dificil. hard in french, whatever that word is. you get my meaning. this late-20's/early-30's stuff can push a lady to her limits. as i spend time each week supporting my dear, wonderful, smart, thoughtful and mostly single ladyfriends, i recognize that the struggles i face aren't just mine (even though they feel that way sometimes :)). this is just that time of life when all the amazing paths you thought you had open seem to be closing around you and all of a sudden you're not sure all of the hard work and pain and tears you put into this life of yours will end up being worth it. it's when you're forced to face your twenties and wonder if you made the right choices. there's no way to know, so you just have to keep swimming.

at 23, i felt like this:


and now i feel like this dude:


boo.

the fear that comes

i'm a little scared. i'm about to help start something big, and it's scary. as the launch of the school i'm helping to start comes closer and closer, i'm starting to feel the high expectations closing in on me...and i'm a little worse for the wear. i'm beginning to splinter and break up, to lash out at people i'd rather keep close, to show my fears through my actions without adding the expression. this is when i need to check myself and pull my bullshit to a full stop. i'm going to focus today on trying to recenter and giving myself a way out, a way back to who I'd like to be.