love is elusive

what is it to be in love with someone? to be "in love" as opposed to just loving? to love someone enough to change your ways for them?
i might need to relearn how to be by myself. thinking about being without simon, the man that i love, scares me. and that's scary. being happy with me, being happy alone, doing things by myself, is important because i now know without a doubt that i'm not the most important person in his life, though he may be that in mine. therefore, i can't let myself get carried away with dependence; i need to break ties and let my old self-awareness come back.

sonja and jacque will be here soon enough. terry and jaclyn are here. all i need is myself.







"i said, larry will you make a toast? and someone said, 'larry went home to take a shit!'"
i love curb your enthusiasm